It’s all about the effort — this title has me singing Meghan Trainor’s It’s all about that bass in my head while also being so thankful for all of the “effort” that has been thrown my way over the past few weeks. Lately (since Little Dude was born really…) I don’t feel like I have been very good at the “effort” when it comes to gifts, going the extra mile for an occasion or really for much of anything.
In My First Mother’s Day post I referenced Valentine’s Day, and Mother’s Day for that matter, as holidays that we celebrate because we are “supposed” to but not because we really want to. I am going back on what I said a little bit here, because this year seemed to be different than any other year as far as Valentine’s Day goes. In our extremely crazy schedules it seemed timely that there was a holiday to remind me (us) to do something a little extra special for the one person you just can’t live without.
This year I decided to buy the Mr. the fitbit blaze he has had his eye on. Based on having never purchased a Valentine’s Day gift for the Mr. before, this was a pretty extravagant first gift! I decided to “go big or go home” since I felt like I dropped the ball on Christmas, Birthday and Father’s Day (even though he would disagree and tell you I’m crazy). This Valentine’s Day gift was certainly not going to replace my lack of effort for the previous holidays but I felt it was a start. Side Note: The gift was a huge success and VERY appreciated, so I am taking this one as a win!
HOWEVER – In the week leading up to Valentine’s Day and in the weeks since the Mr. and our families have gone out of their way to really show an effort…
The Mr. – I was in Vancouver, BC the week before Valentine’s Day and of course there were two snow storms in the time my car was parked at the airport which was going to make for quite a job of digging it out when I was scheduled to land at midnight Friday night. I received a text Friday afternoon between flights from the Mr. that he went to the airport on his lunch hour and shovelled all around my car so I wouldn’t have to worry about it when I landed and could get home quicker. Seriously?! This is so above and beyond what could ever be expected and so extremely appreciated! Then to top it off he came home with roses in hand on Valentine’s Day which I know took some coordination on his part with the schedule he was juggling that day. These two things, both acts of pure kindness and love showed so much effort.
My Mama – I went to pick up Little Dude at her house after work and she had two pieces of chicken cooked and in containers for the Mr. and I to have for dinner or for our lunches the next day. As if looking after him, feeding him and bathing him wasn’t good enough of her to do that day?! Then… a few days later she was sick (something she picked up from Little Dude) but still took him for the day and made me dinner for when I came to pick him up. There is honestly no material gift that could exceed the value of her effort!
The Mr.’s Mom – I have no idea, but I think it must be tough to share your son with another women. I can’t imagine sharing Little Dude and he is just barely 16 months old. The Mr.’s Mom (and Dad) visited this weekend and she showed up with all of my favourites in hand… skor bar squares, aeroroot squares, brown sugar fudge and brown sugar fudge with caramilk bars. To get all of these ingredients and make all four desserts would have quite easily taken an afternoon. The effort to do this before visiting and then doing everything she can possibly do at our house to make our lives easier is more effort than anyone could ever expect!
At the end of the day remember this: It is not about fancy gifts, its about the effort. But, don’t be too hard on yourself… when you really don’t have time to make an effort in a symbolic way, the effort you made to get someone a gift or write a note to show you are thinking of them is equally as appreciated!
A little really does go a long way.
My shoes for that: Tory Burch ‘Miller’ Flip Flop in Spark Gold (the shoes the Mr. bought me for Valentine’s Day this year… full disclaimer, I picked them out but gave him FULL credit! Shhhhh. Our little secret)