Growing up I could never understand why my Grandmother would bring a cushion to sit on at the arena or why she would insist we sit on blankets when out in the cold. As I got older I asked and she gave me a little side smile and said “hemorrhoids, you’ll understand someday”.
For the better part of my teenage years and all of my twenties I snickered at the ladies bringing their cushions to hockey games the same way I the Mr and I snickered at people using walking poles for the hiking trails at Mont Albert – all before we had the experiences for ourselves. After doing the Tour du Mont Albert I wished we had waking poles, in fact we considered offering people along the trail money to take theirs. Kind of like now when I see one of the ladies with their cushions, not only do I not snicker at them, I applaud them for being wise enough to bring it along and for not caring about the snickers from inexperienced people like I once was.
Well, I get it now. And just like that I am now writing a blog post dedicated to poop, pushing to poop and all the poop related advice I can give you.
In the end if Mom is not comfortable no-one is comfortable, am I right?! Before having Little Dude I had never experienced having a hemorrhoids and then without any warning I had the largest hemorrhoid humanly possible. I had no idea what it was, in fact I kept telling the nurses I was still swollen from pushing during labour.
Let me tell you nothing about this first experience was comfortable. I’m not sure there is really a way to prevent this while pushing during labour, but having a few items at home to be prepared when you get back is at least possible to help your comfort level.
Oh, and if you’re lucky enough to have stitches from labour you are NOT, I repeat, you are NOT going to want to push out poop of any kind or use toilet paper for that matter for several days if not weeks.
Small side bar here… Although you can easily buy these things at a local store sometimes there are items you are not comfortable to go buy (especially as a first time mom or dad!), buying them online is a convenient solution to avoid all this awkwardness and still get what you need! Letting you know this just n case you never looked at buying hemorrhoid cream online before…
Asides from buying all the creams and cleansing wipes (baby wipes will also work too, just don’t flush them) I suggest having these ingredients on hand to prevent constipation and to help everything flow smoothly (if you get what I am saying) for these two home remedies:
I like to call the second solution my mom’s “Postpartum Poop Potion” but figured you would all rather pin a post that read “Postpartum Recovery” instead – for this very simple but effective recipe I put the juice in the microwave about 25 seconds, then add the olive oil, chug the combination and chase it with water. Then, wait. This is not necessarily going to make you poop more ( because seriously no-one wants that, like ever!) but it will make poop slip right out without any pushing, forcing, or issues that can irritate all the hemorrhoids / stitches you are working hard to heal.
A friend of mine has also suggested that apples would help, so if you’re an apple fan perhaps consider bringing a few to the hospital, having them at home or even adding them to your water. In my case I am deadly allergic to apples (no joke!) so I’ll be sticking with lemons and prunes as my fruits of choice.
Have you ever googled “baby poop” and then looked at the images? This was a first for me and let’s just say I’m happy I had a look in the wee hours of the night and not right after dinner. Baby poop: A visual guide (Warning: this link shows photos of actual baby poop and is kinda gross. If you’re feeling nauseated, skip this link for today).
This baby is not mine, but man he’s cute isn’t he?!
I had no idea that having a baby was going to be the beginning to endless poop discussions. Seriously, after having Little Dude it felt like the only people who were not asking about his poop were people that did not have kids (and thank God for those people!) or people that were focused on my poop. For the record, I would rather talk about baby poop than my own poop but have very little in the topic as a whole unless where medically relevant or required to be spoken about…
I don’t have any real advice to offer when it comes to baby poop other than to say even if your baby is pooping according to all of the charts and medical advice you’ve been given, have them checked and don’t skip any doctor’s appointments! Just because they are pooping DOES NOT mean they are getting enough milk or are gaining weight. I will also offer a few suggestions of what else you might want to consider talking to a new mom about:
– Anything other than poop
– What’s going on in the real world; it’s OK to have a normal conversation!
– Uplifting news you may have, positive weather forecast, new simple recipes you’ve tried… the list goes on.
Sadly, we (myself included!) forget to just have a normal conversation and although we have just gone through a HUGE thing and are blessed to be able to talk about a new baby, sometimes it’s nice just to feel normal and talk about the latest episode of the Bachelor.
This is the Mr and I trying to change Little Dude’s diaper for the first time on our own (still at the hospital and being supervised by family members) – Either of us had changed a diaper in more than 20 years… for those of you worried… you don’t need to know how – you’ll get to practice 8-10 times per day… you’ll be an expert in about the first 48 hours.
All in all I hope this shitty little chat was helpful, gave you a few tips that you may not have had without having to bring this topic up in conversation if you’re not comfortable to and helped you realize you’re not alone… all the people asking you about poop and the rest of the shit you’re going through are really just trying to help the best way they know how and make you feel loved, cared about and a priority in their lives.
PS If you think someone needs this info but you don’t want to be the one to bring it up, send them the link, share the post on social media or simply suggest that they should check out “There’s a Shoe for That” and search “poop”.
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