I found this blog post while reading some of the drafts I wrote but didn’t publish. For some reason it didn’t feel right to publish this when it was written (June 2018), but after reading it again I know someone else feels the exact same way and could benefit from reading what I am about to share. Including me – almost two years later. xo Jenna
The two words “irony & motherhood” seem to go hand in hand most days.
I used to think I was the only one feeling like I had Alanis Morissette on repeat in my head everyday but then I started to talk about some of my feelings, etc. I quickly found out that no matter what the situation, no matter if the other women had children or not, whether they worked outside home or not, whether they appeared to be super mom or not, they all we all feel like we live in ironic circumstances the majority of the time.
Not sure what I mean yet… well, let me paint a picture for you.
Recently I watched an episode of Working Moms while also trying to get my steps in (anyone who has a Fitbit knows what I am talking about here and every female on the planet knows it’s near impossible to just sit and watch a show without doing something else at the same time…ok, I’ll admit it the second part might just be me, haha).
Ironically the episode I watched (The Music of “Having It All”) became partially my reality Monday morning. Little Dude started to have a runny nose earlier in the day on Sunday, but it hadn’t amounted to much and so we weren’t that concerned. After all he has been sick many many many times so a runny nose is not a big deal. But then just before bed he puked all over the Mr., started to feel a bit warm and well let’s just summarize the night as “not so good”. We had hope for a better day since he woke up in good cheer, but breakfast didn’t last in his belly for very long before we had the privilege of seeing it all for the second time. And before we knew it we were cleaning up puke for the second and third time while deciding how we would take on the rest of the day.
What we ended up doing from this point on doesn’t really matter… the point is the feeling I had, just like Kate (the main character in the show), when you know you need to want to be with your little boy, but you have worked really hard for everything you have accomplished at work thus far and don’t want to risk seeing that go down the drain because of a sick day. As moms As women we over think and over analyze everything. I hated telling my boss I wouldn’t be in because of a sick child as though it would be the end of my career as I knew it. But as usual, I over reacted and over thought the situation – the reaction I received was “no problem Jenna!”. I still can’t help but think, was it really “no problem”?!
Pretty ironic that I watched that episode and then had to make a similar choice the very next day…
That is the life of a mom though.
We choose to have time for ourselves, we feel guilty.
We choose to spend all our time with he kids, we feel like we don’t exist.
We choose to exercise instead of vacuum, we feel like domestic failures.
We choose to vacuum instead of exercise, we feel like a fat version of what we used to be.
To a million more ironic moments in motherhood and being happy about the privilege to clean up puke. Ironic, I know 😉
xo Jenna
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